The best things in life are free and here's a list of those gifts that I have tried giving but apparently I was not at all successful.

1. THE GIFT OF LISTENING...
I was REALLY listening but the guy who did the talking was an expert in monologue.
2. THE GIFT OF AFFECTION...
This is one gift that I must think twice in giving hugs, kisses, pat on the back and holds to my officemates least they'll be screaming, "sexual harassment!"
3. THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE...
I hesitate to give this twice over, the first time I scribbled a note to the officemate, she returned the note saying, "If you're here to ruin my eyesight with those ugly scrawl, don't even think about it!"
4. THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT...
The last time I uttered a simple and sincere greeting, I was hit right smack on my head. All I said was, "Today is your birthday, much as I like to give you a present, I'd rather give you a past."
5. THE GIFT OF A FAVOR...
I did this too but every time I go out of my way to do something kind, I forgot the way back in.
6. THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE...
This is where I excel the most, now everybody refers to me as that dysfunctional introverted guy who is a legend in his own mind!
7. THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION...
The last time I got bawled all over was slapping everybody's back during internment.
8. THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER...
At times the ravages of old age show themselves all at the ill-opportune time. I vow never to laugh boisterously with my loose dentures on. How can I help it? The guy's a killer at the punch line!

People who like to call themselves techies, go-to-guy, and the pejorative nerd are generally technology-savvy and conversant in their own field. This is only to be expected since it goes with the territory especially if you're a BS Info Tech, BS Computer Science or BS Computer Engineering graduate. It is however rare to find an employee who mastered both technical and people skills to climb higher the organizational ladder. Indeed everyone likes promotions, what with the added compensation, perks, and bragging rights. Let's forget momentarily the additional work and stress accompanying such career movement. Here's the whammy: Are you up to it? Do you have what it takes to work yourself up the rungs of the bureaucracy be it public or private? I bet you aren't since this topic was not even printed in the curriculum pages of your alma mater (only here at myiloilo.com).

I, too was stuck long enough in a junior executive position that the last time I check with the mirror, there were streaks of silver growing in my sideburns! And I wasn't going anywhere up the ladder. Seeing to it that the boss has just finished lunch and about to take his nap, I knocked and was admitted to his office. Here's a transcript of what transpired.

I: Sir, I'll be candid and di na magpaligoyligoy pa. Lucky you, this is the 2nd time you were promoted and about to leave for Metro Manila for your new assignment. Me, I'm stuck here for five years now. Can you please tell me your secrets?

Him: Ok I'll also be candid. There are three secrets I'll share with you. Secrets so simple enough you can apply immediately. First, I always keep things simple, I say my truth plain and short. Nobody likes to listen to longwinded lightning and thunder speeches signifying nothing. Simplify.

Second, always do more than what is expected. Any supervisor will appreciate that extra thing. Big bosses are mostly lonely guys. If you're alone in the executive office, it can be creepy at times. So as a lieutenant, every time I say my goodbyes to him, he always let me stay another extra day, to keep him company, to offer a shoulder where he can confidently shed off his frustrations and fears. Now this is working extra, since keeping him company is not in my job description form but no, I stayed with him.

Third and last, keep Sunday for the family. They too long for my companionship and care.

I, the tactless I: Sir, excuse me. Which family are you referring to?

End of interview and goodbye promotion.

Isang tao ang humarap kay San Pedro sa pintuan ng langit.

"Meron ka bang nagawang mabuti at kaaya-aya?" Tanong ni San Pedro.

"Meron pong isa," ang bulalat ng tao.

"Nung pumunta po ako sa Sangang Daan, Tondo, me nakita po akong mga barakong bikers na gumugulo sa isang dalaga."

Sinita ko po sila na pababayaan na ang dalaga, ngunit hindi sila nakinig.

Nilapitan ko po yung pinakamalaki at pinakatadtad ng tattoo at sinuntok sa batok, sinipa ang kanyang motorsiklo, nilabnot ko ang kanyang hikaw sa ilong at inihagis sa lupa. Sinabihang ko pang, "Hayaan nyo siya o magsanib ang balat sa tinalupan dito."

Bilib na bilib ang San Pedro. "Kailan ito nangyari?"

"Mga ilang saglit lang po."

The Con-ass fiasco in the House of Representatives has generated many jokes about congressmen. The most popular is the one about congressmen being made to serve two terms: one in office and the other in jail.

This one is the runner-up: Our congressmen’s brains have two sides: the left side, which has nothing right, and the right side, which has nothing left.

via INQ7.net